Healthy Relationships
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Healthy Choices
When you recognize that you have a part of you that is good to you and a part of you that is not, it becomes easier to make choices out of the self-caretaking part of you. The goal is the turn to the part of your life that is good to you and that makes things better for yourself. When you do this it makes the healthier, self-caretaking part of you stronger which gives you more power and more control to live your life in the best possible way.
- Be good to yourself
- Be gentle with yourself
- Nurture yourself
- Treat yourself like you would a good friend
Self-Caretaking Responses
You may have noticed that you have a part of you that is good to you:
- It is the part of you that wants to help yourself get better
- It is the part that reaches out to others for support
- It is the part that enjoys life and relationships
- It is the part of you that wants to make things better for yourself
- It is the part that feels good about who you are
Self-Defeating Responses
You may also have noticed that you have a part of you that is hard on you:
- It is the part of you that puts yourself down
- It is the part of you that makes things worse for yourself
- It is the part of you that feels insecure and that is self-defeating
- It is the part that will be the first in line to make you fell bad about you; for example, that you are not doing enough or accomplishing enough
Example:
You feel nauseous from a chemotherapy treatment
Self-Caretaking Responses:
- Tell a loved one what it is like so that they know what you are going through and you can go through it together with them
- Explore natural and traditional medicines to help you
Self-Defeating Responses:
- You do not tell anyone what you are feeling and you go through it alone.
- You do not explore or have some one else explore options for your comfort.
Healthy Relationships with Others
One of the best ways to take care of yourself is through healthy relationships. A healthy relationship involves being able to talk about your thoughts, feelings and losses with someone who can really listen to you. It may be an old friend, a new friend, family members, a counselor or a support group. It does not matter who it is, and it does not matter if it is only one person. What matters is that they are supportive, good to you and able to listen to you. They must be people who are genuinely interested in you and your experience. Having healthy relationships is a kind of self-caretaking that is often underestimated. Relationships are very powerful. If you have them they can help you feel stronger, more involved and more able to deal with challenges. At times, it is important to teach the people who support you how best to support you.