Encouraging Support
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Many people living with cancer tell us that support people mean very well but they end up taking over much of the control that the person with cancer is trying to retain. It is necessary for people with cancer to be in control of everything that they can be.
Example:
The people who are closest to you may find it difficult to see you not feeling well because they are so concerned about you. As a result, sometimes when you tell them your real feelings about how difficult things are:
- They may try to solve the problem
- They may try to cheer you up or tell you that you should be positive
When they respond in any of these ways it ends up leaving you alone with what you are really feeling.
Self-Caretaking Response:
It can be very helpful to say to the people supporting you something like:
- “You know, I want to talk about something that is one my mind and really bothering me. Now is a time that I really need you to listen to me. I am not looking for answers or to be cheered up. I just want to tell you how I am feeling.”
